Why Bill Gates retired from Microsoft?

July 16, 2008 at 9:22 pm | Posted in Friends, General, Joke, Public | 4 Comments

Letter from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft


Subject: Problems with my new computer


Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.


1. There is a button ‘start’ but there is no ‘stop’ button.
We request you to check this.


2. One doubt is whether any ‘re-scooter’ is available in system? I find only ‘re-cycle’, but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is ‘Find’ button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ‘find’ button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.


4. My child learnt ‘Microsoft word’ now he wants to learn ‘Microsoft sentence’, so when you will provide that?


5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows ‘My Computer’: when you will provide the remaining items?


6. It is surprising that windows say ‘MY Pictures’ but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.


7. There is ‘MICROSOFT OFFICE’ what about ‘MICROSOFT HOME’ since I use the PC at home only.


8. You provided ‘My Recent Documents’. When you will provide ‘My Past Documents’?


9. You provide ‘My Network Places’. For God sake please do not provide ‘My Secret Places’. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.


Regards,
Banta


Last but not least :

Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?

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Humor Jokes ~ 03-07-08

July 3, 2008 at 6:26 am | Posted in Friends, General, Joke, Public | Leave a comment

Gangster

What did the gangster’s son tell his dad when he failed his examination?
” Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours,
but I never told them anything !! “

Casino

What’s the difference between people
who pray in church and those who pray in casinos?
The ones in the casinos are serious.

Forgiveness

When I was young I used to pray for a bike,
then I realized that God doesn’t work that way,
so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

Intelligence

A little boy went up to his father and asked :
” Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from ? “

His father replied :

” Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother,
because I still have mine. “

Problem

John’s teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying :
“John seems to be a very bright boy,
but spends too much of his time thinking about girls. “

The mother wrote back the next day :

” If you find a solution, please advise.
I have the same problem with his father ! “

Joke for the day ~ 03-07-08

July 3, 2008 at 6:16 am | Posted in Friends, General, Joke, Public | Leave a comment

The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting.

*Dad:* People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.

*Mom*: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone

*Son*: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile

*Maid*: So what is the problem? We all use our work telephones

Ideal ‘ORKUT’ profile of a Software Engineer.

January 19, 2008 at 4:12 am | Posted in Entertainment, Friends, General, Joke, Public | 3 Comments

CHECK THIS OUT……………

About me : I think I am changing the world, but I am not. I think I am contributing to the Indian economy, but I guess I am not. I think I love my work, but I do not. I think I hate all people who made me earn my engineering degree, and I do. I think I am living, but and most importantly, I am LOOKING for someone to make me live !! Ok…I won’t be funny anymore. I am a cool guy with a zeal to enjoy life (For all those who know me–> “Just stop laughing!!”)

Relationship status : what?

Birthday : The day my PL is about to fire me.

Age : 10111

1111

111

Here for : web browsing in company hours.

Children : can’t be (hey, don’t get me wrong here!!)

Ethnicity : Programmer.

Languages I speak : Java, C/C++, 010101110101

Religion : I get holidays on all religious festivals, so I love all religions.

Political view : the guy sitting beside me is a pig!!

Humor : weekly.

Fashion: Ask my company HR. Btw, I like jeans, t-shirt and a cross-bag.

Smoking : The second greatest pleasure on the earth.

Drinking : The first is this.

Pets : Yeah, my manager looks like a dog. 🙂

Living: Cummon, this is a stupid one. How can this be asked to a software engineer? Believe me, I am living!!

Hometown : My company (Oh God! Please bring my appraiser to this page)

Webpage: http://naukri.com , http://jobsahead.com ? Isn’t it Ultimate???

Passions: searching for the cheapest pub around, cursing my company, looking for other company, remembering my good old college days, worrying about my future.

Sports: quake, CS (Counter Strike), computer chess.

Activities: Are you crazy?

Books: “How to lose weight in 20 days?”, “How to live a happy life?”,

“101 ways to attract a girl”, “Java Unleashed”, “C++ at your footsteps”, Others censored.

Music: Metallica, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, ACDC, and anything depressing.

Tv shows : can’t afford one.

Cuisines : Bread Butter, Maggi, anything available within 200 meteres of my cubicle….

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?

October 22, 2007 at 12:30 pm | Posted in Friends, General, Joke, Public, Week End Stories | 2 Comments


Put about 100 bricks in some
Particular order in a closed
Room with an
Open window.


Then send 2 or 3 candidates in
The room and close the door.


Leave them alone and come back
After 6 hours and then analyze
The situation.


If they are counting the
Bricks.
Put them in the accounts
Department.


If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing .

 


If they have messed up the
Whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering.


If they are arranging the
Bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.


If they are throwing the
Bricks at each other.
Put them in operations .

 


If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.

 


If they have broken the bricks
Into pieces.
Put them in information
Technology.


If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.


If they say they have tried
Different combinations, yet
Not a brick has
Been moved. Put them in sales.
 

 

 


If they have already left for
The day.
Put them in marketing.


If they are staring out of the
Window.
Put them on strategic
Planning.


And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each
Other and not a single brick
Has been

Moved.

Congratulate them and put them in top management

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